One of the sacred tasks of conscious ageing is looking ahead to our dying and death. Many people are planning their funerals/celebrations of their lives and answering the question of what to do with their bodies. Cremation is a growing trend. According to legendurn.co.uk “The cremation rate in the United Kingdom has been increasing steadily with the national average rate rising from 34.7% in 1960 to 75.44% in 2015. Nearly 58% of the United Kingdom inhabitants (42% 18-24 / 71% 65+) want to be cremated when they die, a YouGov survey on attitudes to death in 2016 reveals. Of these people, 79% would then like their ashes to be scattered somewhere. Just 7% want their ashes to be kept after they’ve been cremated.”
Though a small number, the ashes of that 7% need to be dealt with. I would venture a guess that in the following seven years since the survey was conducted, the number may have increased. An urn is the usual answer to hold the 2 to 4 kilograms of ashes left from the cremation of an adult.
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Funerary urns have a long history, the earliest evidence found in China dating from 7000 BCE. Much more recently an exhibition to honour people who may have died of Covid19 was held at Sainsbury Centre at the University of East Anglia in Norwich. Called Art, Death and the Afterlife, it features funerary urns created by ceramicist Julian Stair OBE. He incorporated, literally embodied, the ashes into the clay that he used to create urns commemorating several people. The ashes were given to him by the families of those who had died and the urns will be given to them at the close of the exhibition.
Our concern for the planet makes cremation an increasingly popular choice. While Stair works in clay by commission, funerary urns are readily available today, made of many different materials. There is something imposing, noble, about the shape of an urn regardless of its size.
Is cremation a choice for you? The Eastern Orthodox Churches, Orthodox Jews, and Muslims discourage cremation. For those who do choose it, the major question that arises is what to do with the ashes. Scattering them, burying them or retaining them in an urn at home are choices that may limited by local law. Where keeping them in an urn is permitted, we have the opportunity to create a memorial honouring the deceased.
This question is one more that arises as we take the time to make our wishes known about our dying and death. Do our loved ones want some or all of our ashes? Who would be the guardian the ashes? Would you or they prefer to scatter or bury them? Where?
This sort of advance planning certainly makes our death easier for those who survive us. The decisions have already been made and the survivors are not burdened with extra concerns at a time of grieving and sorrow.
Cremation? Burial? Questions to ponder.