wisdom. what is it?

the word ‘wise’ is often married to the words ‘elder’, ‘older’, ‘sage’. what exactly does it mean? how is wisdom acquired? how does it manifest? are ‘older’ and ‘wiser’ synonymous?

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these questions are often posed by those of us who choose to age with awareness. we often want our years of experience and learning to serve some meaningful purpose, to be of use to others. can our decades of living benefit others? how?

of course we can pass on our practical knowledge of homemaking, accounting, ship building, activism, health maintenance and bus driving.

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we can also share our less tangible experience of seasonal changes, art appreciation, reading, compassion and generosity.

does all of that sharing and passing on amount to wisdom?

sister joan chittister said in a webinar i recently attended that, “Wisdom is the ability to understand and integrate apparently unrelated ideas”. it is the word “unrelated” that caught my attention. how to compare apples with oranges? can we take experience in homemaking and apply it to bus driving? does our appreciation of barbara hepworth’s sculpture lead us to a wiser relationship with our bank balance?

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if we regard our ageing path as the last period in human growth, we might take on the mantle of answering those questions before our last breath.

that wisdom is an inner acquisition is clear. no amount of information will make us wise. it is through our willingness to reflect on the relationship between our inner being and outer being, often “unrelated ideas”, that transformation into wisdom can happen. and then integrating it, owning it, speaking it…being it.

in the same webinar, sister joan commented that, as we age, we can develop an “…awareness that there is a purpose to ageing: enlightenment. Our task is to realise that”. could it be that the trajectory of our growth into wisdom is to become aware of the possibility of enlightenment?

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in europe, the 17th and 18th centuries are referred to as the age of enlightenment. thinkers of that time thought of enlightenment as “the full comprehension of a situation” (wikipedia…where else??). this chimes for me with sister joan’s definition of wisdom. does that ring a bell in your heart too?

may we all be enlightened!

be an ancestor of your future self

inspired by david whyte's coleman's bed

with so many living so much longer there has been a lot of interest in ancestry. people are finding relatives they didn’t know they had, sometimes with great joy and other times with regret and sorrow. the past seems to come more into the present, and it affects the future. the search for ancestors, the connection with those who preceded us, can allow for life repair and forgiveness, as well as deep learning.

where we are right now, who we are right now, sets the stage for our future. we become then the ancestor of our future selves. david whyte, in his poem coleman’s bed invites us to “Live in this place as you were meant to and then, surprised by your abilities, become the ancestor of it all…”

first we must “live in this place”, as we are meant to. be present, become conscious of all that we experience. live as we are meant to, breathing into each moment. find our seat at whichever table we find ourselves. be willing to live fully, as we are meant to. take risks, for we may have less to lose than we had when we were younger. perhaps our ego is a bit less invested in what others might think of us. perhaps we are willing to be fully who we were meant to be.

then we will be surprised by our abilities. our decades of life experience is what we bring to that table. whatever wisdom we have gained speaks to the others at the table. by claiming our seat at the table we live in that place fully embodied, fully realised. and no one will be more surprised than ourselves, at what we know that is, as yet, unspoken.

in taking our place fully we become the ancestor of our own future. we create our present at the same time as we write our legacy with each action, with each word, with each breath. the legacy we leave is the one we live now.

we then become worthy ancestors.

(p.s. i'm so sorry this post is unillustrated. i'm still having tech issues with wordpress...sigh.)

an aspiration

some time ago i came in touch with a deep drive, a passion that would not let me rest, a creative current that energised me with its flow. this lead me to train as a workshop leader addressing issues of ageing, and ageing with awareness, ageing consciously with purpose and meaning in each day.

one of the tasks i was set as part of this training was the creation of an aspiration, a self-dedication, an intention for my life. i sat with the task, regarding it as a spiritual practice. days passed as the words slowly took form i knew these words would have the power to guide me in my time of re-firement. it would provide the fuel for this energised flow. i have posted it below.

invite you to undertake the same task. welcome in the words that ignite your passion. embrace the energy that seeks an outlet. deepen into its reality and, when you are ready, offer it to your world.

(please excuse the messy formatting of this post. wordpress and i are having 'issues'. hopefully they will be resolved soon.)

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i contribute each day to a cultural revolution, a paradigm shift, in order to create an enlightened, compassionate world where ageing is regarded, not as a burden, but as a blessing...
~~~where the older among us are honoured and cared for with respect and dignity…
~~~where the experience, wisdom and guidance of elders is sought after, valued and held in high esteem…

~~~where we all have the opportunity to live full, creative lives, regardless of who we are, until we die.

the 10th...and final...C...ceremony

it is ceremony that allows us to experience life’s joys and sorrows. we share these emotions with the vast majority of humans. we have more in common than we have differences, and ceremonies allow us to share those common states of being. all cultures have ways to celebrate and ways to grieve, ways to mark the passage of time and ways to mark the end of a person’s time.

there are daily rituals…cleaning teeth, eating and preparing meals, dressing, bathing, meditating and praying (in whatever form appeals).

there are occasional rituals…marking a day of rest, celebrating a union of two, marking a life passage.

and there are once-in-a-lifetime rituals…birth and death.

in these ceremonies and rituals we find the rhythm and cadence in life. just as there is the rhythm of day and night, exhale and inhale, these events mark personal and collective rhythms. they unite us in mysterious ways as well as material ways. they support us each in times of sorrow and times of rejoicing.

in many cultures there are ceremonies for youngers, though not many for olders. can we begin to create these ceremonies as ways to honour our elderhood? stepping across the threshold from adulthood to elderhood is as vital a step in our development as the one from childhood to adolescence. such a ceremony can allow us to take on the mantle of the elder, the wise one.

from unsplash

community...the 9th C

community is about sharing, communing, communicating. community is where we find sisters and brothers. it is where we can derive meaning, creativity and connection.

this community may be small…a few friends…or it may be larger…a spiritually aligned group. at its farthest extent we find ourselves in the community of the universe and then in the community of this planet. this is where we can find spaciousness and wholeness.

elders in community can be a powerful force for transformation. we have, as a group, the ability to change the prevailing narrative, about ageing, dying and death, about life itself. by gathering together we pool our resources.

recently i found myself in a group that, collectively, had over five centuries of life experience. that, in itself, is remarkable and contains intelligence and wisdom, practical knowledge and inner understanding. when we gather in community, listening deeply to one another, we are able to speak to that which would deny us, deride us and ignore us.

we can, together, make noise and be heard. after all, it was those of us who are now in our late 60s and mid-70s who did change the world. we began what were then considered difficult conversations that are now continuing to unfold…menopause, sexual freedom, consciousness expansion, human rights, care for the planet, organic growing methods, alternative ways of living.

harnessing our community power and wisdom we can continue to change the world. we can re-instate respect for elders by recognising our own elderhood. we can continue to model that elderhood as a valuable, essential life phase. we can continue to unfold the difficult conversations about ageing, about the daily process of dying and about the transition from life to death.

harnessing our community power and wisdom we can continue to learn, to grow, to evolve individually and as/within our various communities.

take a moment now to connect with the communities in which you live…the virtual ones as well as the intimate, personal ones. suddenly we are in community with people across the globe, reminding us that we hold the planet in our hands.

and, that as the human community, we are responsible.

compassion

matthew fox names the eighth aspect of being human ‘compassion’. this quality figures greatly in all spiritual traditions. it is not passive or sentimental. compassion is about an inner response to suffering and then acting on that response.

at its core, compassion teaches us that we are all interdependent. the buddha repeatedly taught this principle, which has been supported by contemporary science.

meister elkhart said, “whatever happens to another, be it a joy or sorrow, happens to me.” the word itself means to suffer together.

elders have lived long enough to have witnessed and experienced many joys and sorrows. we have become what elisabeth kulber-ross called “beautiful people”.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

it is the long life that we have lived that has gently or harshly filed away the rough edges of the ego so that we can respond to the suffering of others with compassion. this response may find us involved in actions for social justice or adding prayer to our daily spiritual practice. it may find us writing a spiritual legacy to those younger than we, expressing our concern for others. we might respond to our inner call by reaching out a friend who is feeling isolated and lonely.

these actions, small and large, are our basic, human nature. elders have the opportunity not only to act, but to model compassion for others.

in fact, we might think of compassionate action as a hallmark of elderhood.