Older people are constantly bombarded with advice about how to live well. We are told what to eat, how to stay fit, how to monitor our blood pressure, when to have our cholesterol measured, how to form relationships, how to avoid loneliness and a million other certainly well-meant and useful recommendations.
In truth, I find them rather boring and repetitious. There are endless studies telling us the same thing, using money that might be spent building housing that really serves older people, or providing free public transport, or creating opportunities for inner growth, or adequate medical care.
However, I did recently come across a bit of advice that made a great deal of sense to me. It’s a Tibetan proverb.
The secret to living well is
Eat half
Walk double
Laugh triple
Love without measure.
t was the last phrase that touched me…love without measure. To give love may be the one thing that we can all do, regardless of our physical capacity. We may have aching joints, or organs that have stopped being super efficient, or brains that can’t quite remember a word. And we can be loving.
This is a love that embraces, that endures, and that enlivens. It is a love that brings a smile not only to the recipient but to the bestower, the beloved and the lover. Muscles relax, the heart opens, the connection is made.
We are encouraged by this proverb to do something that challenges the strongest among us—to love that which is painful, difficult, even hateful to us. How do the children of Holocaust survivors love Hitler? How do we find love for a nurse who murders vulnerable infants? How can we open our hearts to war-mongers and arms dealers?
I don’t have answers to those questions. I contemplate them simply in light of the Tibetan proverb as questions to live into. And to embrace the whole of the proverb as a guide to living well.