Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again , come , come.”~~ Jelaluddin Rumi
these words inspire those on a spiritual path to return after departing the “caravan”, often in “despair”. we often find ourselves, after making a commitment to pray or meditate or practice chi gung or yoga, becoming less enthusiastic, less determined to practice. the habit fades and diminishes. then we become aware that something is missing, something that nourishes us is absent, that we have been diminshed.our human nature can lead us to create other priorities as life unfolds. suddenly other things seem more important. the calendar becomes too full and something needs to be deleted. often it is the time we have set aside for connection, for introspection, for contemplation. the outer demands can encroach on our inner world.
the yoga tradition suggests a few ways to counter the human foible of moving “away from that which is beneficial to us and toward that which is harmful”. the reading of inspiring words can bring us back to the ‘caravan’, as can having community support where we share with like-minded people our successes and our challenges.
no matter how we choose to re-dedicate ourselves, we can return. there is no punishment or banishment. there is no condemnation, even after a thousand leavings.it is good to know we can return. we can join rumi in his caravan. we can “come, come, come” to re-join our companions and connect again with whatever calls us, by whatever name or namelessness or form or formlessness.in the many decades we have lived, there have been many leavings and many returnings. this process contributes to the rich wisdom we hold. as we experience our elderhood, we know, deep down, the leaving and returning is the breath of our path.thank you, rumi.
in memoriam
on 22 december last year ram dass died at 88. many of us know him as a remarkable spiritual teacher who had witnessed, and fostered, seismic changes in the landscape of western spirituality. today’s blog post is devoted to some of his teachings. he gave us much to guide us on the journey from olders to elders.
"Old age is rife with change. Old age is training you in change: change in your body, of relationships, change of your energy, change in your role. The last part of your life is sensational; yum, yum, yum. Ego things calm down and wisdom comes forth. And compassion comes forth—compassion for yourself, compassion for others, compassion for the world."“In yoga, one of the methods is called 'contentment'. That’s not a goal, that’s a method.I can be content this moment, and the next moment I’m moving toward something else. When I am here I am content, when I am here I am content, when I am here I am content. So even though you are going to change something the next minute, that doesn’t mean you change it out of discontent. It changes because it changes.That is the basis that you do everything in yoga.”“You go from using the spiritual journey in the service of your psychodynamics to using your psychodynamics in the service of your spiritual journey.”“The stroke has given me another way to serve people. It lets me feel more deeply the pain of others; to help them know by example that ultimately, whatever happens, no harm can come. 'Death is perfectly safe,' I like to say.”
ram dass with rabbi zalman schachter-shalomi with ram dass. they were close friends for many years and together created a new paradigm for eldering.
to be not dead
a quote to ponder..."i suppose it’s a cliche to say you’re glad to be alive, that life is short, but to say you’re glad to be not dead requires a specific intimacy with loss that comes only with age or deep experience. one has to know not simply what dying is like, but to know death itself, in all its absoluteness.after all, there are many ways to die—-peacefully, violently, suddenly, slowly, happily, unhappily, too soon. but to be dead—one either is or isn’t.the same cannot be said of aliveness, of which there are countless degrees. on can be alive but have-asleep or half-noticing as the years fly, no matter how fully oxygenated the blood and brain or haw steadily the heart beats.fortunately, this is a reversible condition. one can learn to be alert to the extraordinary and press pause—to memorise moments of the everyday."insomniac city: new york, oliver saks and me by bill hayes
reflection
looking into a still pond, seeing the reflection of sky and trees and possibly our own face, we are given a gift of beauty, of clarity.
reflecting on our lives may also give us the opportunity to see more clearly our decades of experience. this becomes the spiritual task of life review, or better still life-reviewing. it is a continuous, active path to the wisdom of the elder.reflecting is different from reminiscing. in reminiscence we simply remember the past, usually the romanticised “good stuff”. in reflecting we have to on-going opportunity to change course, to modify our behaviour, to learn. in taking on the task of life-reviewing we can mend our ways and possibly make amends to those we might have hurt, looking with compassion and tenderness at the uncomfortable.
we also reflect on our achievements, our successes, our on-going aliveness. this is an area of life we are taught to minimise lest we seem arrogant. yet, in acknowledging our accomplishments, we step into more truth. we can see our triumphs in the light of the honest reflection we see in the still water of the pond. we can see a more complete picture of a life.
in this process we take responsibility for today and for yesterday, opening a present and a future that is more authentic, more loving. while we may not be able to repair all those years of interactions, we are not powerless in creating more vivid, lively current relationships…with ourselves and with others, with our community and the planet
life-reviewing can be an exciting, intimate adventure. it can reveal the trajectory of a life examined, with all its bumps and potholes, with all its glowing sunrises, with all its awe-ful beauty.
not knowing
as we grow older our days are filled with not knowing.
it seems, in other times of life, we knew more. we were sure of what we were doing, in spite of our insecurities. we had work. we had families, either of blood or choice. we had a sense of moving forward in life. now, it’s all a bit unclear.
we don’t know how our joints will feel when we step out of bed. we don’t know if we might fall today. we don’t know who might step out of our lives today or tomorrow or the next day. we don’t know if we might fall in love today or tomorrow, or fall in love all over again.in truth, even at younger life stages, we didn’t know. now, however, we have a sense of our mortality that we didn’t then, a sense of the boundaries of our lives. these two aspects of awareness, mortality and not knowing, can combine to enliven each moment. being receptive to the not knowing allows us to be open, curious and attentive. we can only learn what was previously unknown to us. so living in not knowing allows us to expand our knowledge, our skills and our appreciation.it takes courage to live in this space.
for creativity lives in the land of not knowing. seeing our lives, and the lives of those around us, through different lenses opens our hearts and minds to the possibilities that surround us. there is now space in our being for more.and here lies our wisdom. this willingness to expand our awareness, to be curious about each day, regardless of our fears and the state of our joints, takes us into the world of the elder. the not knowing, and the courage to be there, brings joy and value to our growing in age.
song
there is a song which sometimes can't be heard
but never tires
moving through the world
like the lone pink cloud
that catches the sun's late glow
in pale blue sky
if you find it singing you
welcome its spaciousness
it is food for your heart
~~~janey verneyfrom a book of poems entitled 'more space than you can imagine" available at www.heartclown.com