opening our hearts to others is a practice taught in many spiritual traditions. it leads to generosity and kindness. it allows us to turn our attention from our self centred desires and opinions. it encourages us to see other perspectives and opinions. and it softens the fixed and solidified places in our being. it supports our intention to live with compassion…the recognition that all of us experience pain and suffering.
sage-ing international counts compassion as one of the qualities of a sage/wise elder. this is their charge to us…"Compassion: With a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it, we serve from a deep passion that includes caring and understanding, reciprocity and forgiveness."in the buddhist tradition the practice of metta bhavana (cultivation of loving kindness) is simple and profound. it can lead us to a deep awareness of our interconnectedness and our ability to open our hearts.
the practice itself asks us to repeat a few simple phrases. the traditional phrases are about happiness, peace and freedom from suffering. other phrases can be added, of course.we address these wishes in widening circles.
we are asked to meditate on loving kindness firstly for ourselves. self-compassion leads to compassion for others so that we treat ourselves with the same care and support and kindness we would show a dear friend. we support positive change with self-love, which is not selfish. as we become aware of our own suffering we are moved to show that kindness to others in what we think, say and do.the second step in the metta practice involves holding the phrases in our heart for someone we care for deeply, wishing them happiness, peace and freedom.this is followed by the phrases addressed to a neutral person, someone you might see at the bank or supermarket (if/when we do see someone there!). this is someone you might barely know or not know at all.the fourth phase of the practice is the most challenging. this involves holding those wishes for someone with whom you have difficulty…your landlord, a relative, a workmate, your partner. this is where the heart opening is most demanding…and most joyfully beneficial. by asking ourselves to open to someone who we might think is wrong/silly/nasty/stubborn/difficult we challenge our fixed ideas. we hold our hard places up to the fire of love and compassion.and finally, in the last phase of metta bhavana, we address these wishes to all beings.here is the traditional path of metta…may i be happy.may i be peaceful.may i be free from suffering.in the second phase, insert the name of the person you care for in place of ‘i’, holding an image of that person in your heart.in the third, address the neutral person by who they are in your life, e.g., the postie/the store clerk, holding the image in your heart.in the fourth, insert the name of the person with whom you have difficulty holding that person in your heart.in the fifth, address all beings, holding the whole planet in your heart.
and here are some other phrases that may be appropriate at various times in your life from an article in yoga journal on line by sharon salzberg, a noted american buddhist teacher. https://www.yogajournal.com/meditation/cultivate-goodness-practice-lovingkindness“May I accept my pain, without thinking it makes me bad or wrong.”“May I remember my consciousness is much vaster than this body.”“May all those who have helped me be safe, be happy, be peaceful.”“May all beings everywhere be safe, be happy, be peaceful.”“May my love for myself and others flow boundlessly.”may all beings be safe.may all beings be well.may all beings live from the heart.