i was walking in the corridor of the block of flats where i live. it’s a complex of 100 flats for people over 55. i love living there...the flats and corridors are spacious. it’s close to public transport. the sea is one street away. the neighbourhood is lively and creative. the neighbours are well...neighbourly.on this morning i encountered a neighbour who i rarely see. i commented that i was glad to see her. she’s very busy, so these moments don’t come often. she told me she attends spanish and french classes as well an exercise class several times each week.
it was a wednesday, the day there is a weekly social club in the spacious, well-appointed common space.
the neighbour asked me is i attended. when i said “no” she commented, “nor do i. they think they’re old. i don’t think i’m old.”what is it about the word ‘old’ that causes us to recoil, to distance ourselves from others?
why do we dread claiming that identity? in our culture, old is equal to useless, without redeeming qualities. my neighbour’s response to a vital, social activity typifies this cultural paradigm.and perhaps, more importantly, she is denying her own reality. though i don’t know exactly how old she is, i would venture to guess, she has 70+ years of life experience. that’s old by anyone’s standards. she is healthy, engaged and lively...and old.
we have been conditioned to believe that young is valuable, is desirable.we, who are no-longer young, are not.they, who are not-yet-old, inhabit a world that is often bereft of elder role models. they don’t know the potential freedom of elderhood. they don’t know the avenues for growth that exist in the life of the older.most research shows that people in their later years are happier and more content than those younger. we somehow believe that the young and middle years are the epitome of life’s riches. current studies show otherwise.and yet the cultural view of olders persists. it is up to us to change that...by living our potential regardless of our age, by enjoying opportunities to grow, by finding meaning and purpose in our elderhood itself.