Delving into the archive of my writing I discovered this reflection on ageing. At the time I was part of a small group, each of us considering our unique process as we grew older. I wrote it on 11 January 2017, on a day I was feeling connected to all that is, and share it with you today, 6+ years later.
71 by metin ozer on unsplash
October 2023
Today is my 71st birthday.
71 seems such an odd age.
70 felt like a milestone...i’ve lived three score and ten.
71 means I’m ‘in my 70’s’.
I wonder how that happened?
Of course, I know how it happened...a moment at a time, a breath at a time, an insight at a time, a tear at a time, a laugh at a time, an ache or pain at a time, a love at a time, a disappointment at a time...
And here I am...now, breathing.
Today I sat on the floor, cross-legged. I’ve done this thousands of times in my decades as a yoga practitioner.
Today I got up from the floor with an ache in my right hip joint. My left hip has been similarly troubles for quite some time. Today the right one joined the party.
My mind immediately began to wonder in a slight panic,…
What should I do about this? Acupuncture? Osteopathy? Sit for 5 minutes each day to ease the ache? Never sit on the floor again? Pills?
Then I breathed...one breath at a time...breathed into my agitated mind, breathed into my hip, breathed into the letting go of fear, breathed into the unchanging, ever-present Love that is the ground of being.
What does it mean for my body to age/change/transform from what it was to what it is in each moment? My body has never been the same from year to year. It has always been ageing. It has hurt before this, ached before this. And yet, somehow, this is different. This is being old, being less able, being less agile and being more vulnerable.
Can I let my heart be more vulnerable too? Can I open my heart as I breathe? Can I live in this heart space of Love?
The moments that might lie ahead could be filled with this new process—a deeper awareness of my heartLove in addition to the witnessing of my body, to the witnessing of change.
What is this Love? What does Love see? Where does Love live?
Love is that ever-present, unchangeable, glorious space.
Love sees all that is without judgement or assessment.
Love lives in every cell, every molecule of all that exists, has existed, will exist.
And i can touch Love every time I choose to stop, to listen, to sense, to open to Love’s glory.
This is the lesson for my 71st birthday.