with covid-19 ruling our lives, i’m about to enter what i am calling ‘stay at home’ mode. all the other terms are either to isolating in themselves or too much related to incarceration. so i’m staying at home for the duration.very fortunately any number of community groups have sprung up to assist we “elderly” (ugh!). don’t get me wrong…i’m happy to join that group while the "youngerly" help us out.my sense is that the UK will go into complete lo—do-n very soon. so i’m settling in with my sweetheart where there is a garden for afternoon strolls and outdoor meals, whenever the british weather allows. i’ve got my home exercise routine set up along with yoga and many spiritual practices.it is my intention to continue posting blogs regularly. in fact some are already scheduled. the posts you will receive in the next few weeks may seem a bit random, given the world situation. simply consider them bonuses from another lifetime.in a few week’s time i will offer several practices that might be helpful as our world changes and we need some stability. there is already lots of advice about what to do, how to stay in touch with others, as well as spiritual support from various reputable organisations. my sharing is more by way of my feeling that opening my heart to others is one of the most important ways i will navigate our current situation.stay tuned…and stay connected.
it is permitted
you may do this.it is permitted.you may begin the story of your life right now, in this present moment.it is permitted.each moment provides us the opportunity to re-frame disempowering thoughts and images we might carry from our distant past. we can, with an open heart and tenderness, forgive ourselves and others.
each one of us has experienced hardship and pain. those experiences have left scars. we can provide the soothing balm to heal those hurts and minimise the scars.yes, it takes courage and determination. it takes a willingness to look, to understand and then to see the gift in each of those hurts. we would not be the elders we are today without them. some gifts are hard to see, hard to understand. when we can allow an open space growth can, eventually, make the gift clear.
the healing may bring tears of re-lived pain or tears of relief or tears of joy. there may be a deep acceptance of our experience and a deeper gratitude for the wisdom we have gained through it.and then begins the life with a new perception, a different understanding of that which pained. there might be a lightness inside, a load relieved, a wound healed. there begins the life of a more liberated elder. we have permitted it ourselves, without waiting for an external source to tell us it’s okay to live in freedom.
how would we live our daily lives, each breath, each moment, inside that freedom? how would our relationships change and grow? how would our sense of ourselves evolve?where would the new story of our lives begin?
sukha and dukkha/sweetness and anguish
in both the yoga and buddhist (the buddha as a yogi, after all) traditions, we encounter the interdependent opposites of sukha and dukkha. the taoists called them yin and yang.sukha is the sanskrit root of our word ‘sugar’.
this is the sweetness of life, the moments/hours/days when everything just works. it all fits together. there is joy and laughter, sunshine and starlight.dukkha expresses the polar opposite…pain, misery, anxiety, alienation. this is the difficult time of life when nothing flows. nothing fits. there are tears and groans, grey days and cloudy, sleepless nights.
this is the stuff of life.the yogis have a perfect image for this stuff of life…the wheel.
when the axle to which the wheel is attached is bent or broken, the wheel won’t turn. when the rim of the wheel is out of true it bumps on the road. when the hub is misaligned we experience a rough ride.then, when the rim is perfectly circular, the hub sits comfortably on the axle, which is strong and straight the ride of life is smooth and effortless. we are in the sweet spot.in the yoga sutra, that wise elder patanjali wrote, “sthira sukam asanam.” which translates as “the posture is steady and comfortable”. the wheel is true. we sit in comfort and strength.
in elderhood we require both steadiness and comfort, strength and flexibility, in order to manifest our essence in the world. who are we when we take our place with ease and assuredness? are we the wisdom keeper of the community’s history? are we the mentor, guiding the youngers along their chosen path? are we the the repository of wisdom? can we negotiate the turbulent waters of world affairs with kindness and compassion? we have experienced both…sukha and dukkha, and we bring both to our eldering.these aspects of eldering ask of us to sit at the centre of the wheel…steady and comfortable, allowing the wheel to turn with ease on the hub, allowing the rim to gently roll in contact with the ground.it is our spiritual connection that maintains the health of the wheel. it is our mechanic at the garage, ready to oil and adjust and align our inner being, the wheel of our being.
whatever that connection means…meditation, tai ji, daily walks in the woodland, gardening…it is vital to our joywork as elders. it is that connection that keeps the wheels turning and allows us to be fully authentic and alive as elders.
joywork
for some time now i’ve been struggling with the word ‘work’.i’m in the privileged position of no longer needing to work for a living.
so what do i call what i am now doing? it occupies much of my days, like most people’s work. i talk about it endlessly, as many people do about their work. i care deeply about it, as some people are fortunate enough to care. people ask me about it…always calling it work.
to me it is not work in the classic sense. it isn’t drudgery. it isn’t boring. it isn’t something i do for a period of time and then live the rest of my life. it isn’t onerous. it isn't something i resent. it isn’t something i need to balance with ‘life’.
instead, it is a passion.i’ve thought about the substitute words ‘vocation’ or ‘calling’. i love those words, and certainly what i do is both of those. it is a place for my voice and it is something i am called to do. because they have religious connotations, i don’t feel totally comfortable using them when i speak to people about my passion.suddenly, in conversation with an acquaintance recently, it came to me. she said, “you do what gives you joy”.
and there it was…joywork. yes, it is work. it is demanding of my attention, my awareness, my time. it is fulfilling, as well as asking me to spend more time indoors, looking at a screen, than i might otherwise do. and it gives me great joy.joywork is a gift of elderhood. this is the time when we can choose to do what gives us joy, what nourishes us, what brings a smile, and a deep sense of satisfaction. we have the time and inner resources to find meaningful, passionate occupation, whether that be political activism, creative endeavour, or grandparenting.joywork is a gift to the world.
mending the world
the kabbalistic mystic, isaac luria, (1534-1572) proposed the practice of tikkun olam, or healing the world.
he believed that when the world was created the creator formed vessels to hold divine light. being unable to contain this light, the vessels shattered still holding a spark of the light trapped in each shard. these shards scattered through the cosmos and formed the world we inhabit.
luria believed it is the task of humans to reunite these scattered shards, these sparks of light, and thus repair the broken world.there is little doubt that our world has shattered. one doesn’t even need to read the newspaper. a glance at the headlines is all we need to convince us that we are in serious trouble.how would we live if we were exactly that spark of light that is needed to heal the world? how would we live as a conscious shard? how would we live believing that our light can repair the world? what would we do, each day, to heal the world we live in?we can begin with small things…a proverbial act of kindness, planting a tree (or a thousand trees), kissing someone we love, welcoming a refugee, challenging racism in all its forms.some of us are called to do bigger things. matthew fox is one of those. (https://www.matthewfox.org/). his calling led him to be excommunicated from the catholic church and formulate “creation spirituality”. he speaks truth in big ways, challenging those in power and encouraging us to heal the world.
while we may not have matthew’s charisma or training, we each have gifts that heal the world…a smile while walking to the shops…a visit to a lonely neighbour…participating in a community art event…mentoring someone who needs guidance…signing a petition or marching on a protest to protect ancient woodlands…standing up for women’s rights to their bodies…walking a labyrinth with healing intention.each one of us is a shard, holding divine light. each one of us casts that light into the world. no matter how big or small the act, we each are capable of contributing to tikkun olam.how will you live today as that light?
walking
we all have read the endless articles about exercise, particularly walking, as a way to stay healthy and fit. there are myriad benefits…cardio-vascular health, weight control, immune system support, reduction in disability risk, reduction in arthritis pain, and it can increase lifespan. (https://thecaregiverspace.org/8-science-backed-health-benefits-to-walking-for-seniors/)
there is another benefit to walking…it can deepen our connection to ourselves, others and to our inner world.“perhaps the truth depends on a walk around a lake”. wallace stevens
we so often seek truth outside ourselves. we read books, attend lectures and workshops, meditate, practice yoga or chi gung all in search of truth, in search of connection. and perhaps it does depend on a walk.any walk…on urban streets, in the woods, in a local park, around the house.in the buddhist tradition, walking is a meditation practice. there is a formal method of walking slowly, deliberately, mindfully along a straight path, turning to return on the same path.
few of us have this option in daily life, though a corridor or a garden path could serve. so how can we make a daily walk around the neighbourhood serve to show us the truth? thich nhat han tells us, “Each step brings you back to the present moment, which is the only moment in which you can be alive.” he doesn’t say we need a particular path, only that we step mindfully.certainly a quiet park or churchyard might help bring our minds to a quieter place. certainly a straight path might help keep our steps regular and deliberate. these supports are helpful, though not essential.what is vital, however, is mindful attention. each step has the potential to bring us back to the present. in a busy street a step may bring our awareness to a colour or word overheard. when the mind comes to this moment we are meditating as we walk.in a garden or a park, a step might bring our focus to a flower or a blade of grass or a child’s delighted cry and thus bring us to the present moment as we walk along.in the woods the crack of a twig underfoot or the scent of wet leaves or the sensation of silence might allow our awareness to rest in the present moment as our mindful steps take us deeper into our connection with nature.any of these walks might lead us to a healthier life…and, perhaps, to the truth.