there is much food for thought in this ageing process. we have very little in the way of a map or guide for living into our 80s and 90s, or even into our 70s. my father died when he was 70.
i was 28. at the time, a lot of people commented that he had lived a long life.now, 45 years later, when someone dies at 70 the comments are more likely to be about their having died young. improved health care, improved nutrition and greater awareness have all contributed to increased longevity.but how do we do it? and, more importantly, how do we do it with consciousness, grace and enthusiasm? what are the qualities that make ageing a vital, important and vibrant experience? what inner and outer processes will contribute to changing the paradigm from one of decline to one of enlivened growth?one of the first steps, it seems to me, is to change how we see olders. the media provide us with several images…the dotty old woman, the kindly grandparent,
the greying man struggling with his identity, the useless burden on society, the face-lifted diva doing anything to ‘stay young’,
the flabby people at the gym, the person with the walking frame.
none of these are particularly attractive in our youth-orientated world. and, more importantly, none of them acknowledge the wisdom held in those hearts and minds. none of them acknowledge our ability to live with ambiguity, to hold creative tension, to take the long view, to live with meaning and purpose, and to share our experience with our peers and with youngers.none of those images actually express who many of us are now, or can become. none of those images portray our ability to transcend our past while, at the same time, including all of our life experience.these decades of living longer can support our ability to see life as both/and. youngers, including our younger selves, often see life as either/or. many of us know now that most of life is not so clear cut. there is often a zone of ‘not knowing’ where creative solutions lie.only the living and breathing through the necessary struggles can we find our wisdom. only the living and breathing through heartbreak and disappointment can we begin to see those experiences as the bedrock on which we now stand. and it is from this firm foundation we can allow joy and curiosity, spiritual radiance and discernment to arise.this is the base on which the Elder stands.